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Can you believe that 99% of responses to my Guest Book form are spam e-mails?  I set up a filter that blocks all Guest Book e-mail which contains a link or a web URL.  This catches 99.9% of spam Guest Book entries.  <- Look, I just told the spammers how to avoid getting their spam blocked by my filter, yet still the filter works. 

Guest Book Hall of Fame
Question Best response ... so far from
Favorite cereal Breakfast cereal is devilish trash. Any whom succumb to the "quaker scourge" is less of a man in my book. Daniel Warlick
Where do you live? What sucks about it? Pennsylvania. The nation's @$$hole by far! Its roads suck, there are no jobs, you pay taxes out the wazoo, and it's so rural, it's like one gigantic farm! It's also stuck 20-25 years in the past, like it can't get over the collapse of the steel mills and coal mines in the late 70's. This is also evident in the sense that we are not allowed to sell beer in our supermarkets, but you can do it virtually everywhere else in this country. Also, the residents are pretty much pukes. They are all either crotchety old farts who grew up WAY too hard and are all jaded and bitter, rednecks who live 50 miles out in the woods who eat nothing but Spam and listen to their Slim Whitman records all day, and blue-collar, shot and a beer tough guys who are always drunk or high and looking for a fight. I feel like one of those rare people who were born in the wrong state! And, Pittsburgh should be renamed "Shitsburgh" because it's the absolute shits! Superrock
Hobbies Paparazzi photographer Dylan Tyler
Famous quote "Love thy neighbor, but don't get caught." Bhavesh
What brought you to this site? That girl you threw out of your car while it was moving Bad Check
Why would an alien want to abduct you? So his buddies can steal my Pinto Pennsylvanians Must Die

 

 

Kathy Boz

Favorite cereal: Rice Crispies

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Small town population 50 in upper peninsula of Michigan. 35 miles to a gallon of milk.

Hobbies: Quilting, yard work

Famous quote:
"'Fabricologist Resource Center' sounds better than 'Fabric Stash.'"

Shoe size: 9 1/2

Age: 69

What brought you to this site?
No arms no leg jokes. My neighbor calls them quadriplegic jokes and rolls off the couch when she tells them and then laughs herself silly.

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
Blonde hair, blue eyes

 

Judson Barr

Favorite cereal: Quisp

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Irving, Texas
Nothing. IT'S GREAT!

Hobbies: Knife making

Famous quote:
"
Profanity is the inevitable linguistic crutch of the inarticulate motherfucker."

Shoe size: 10 1/2

Age: 47

What brought you to this site?
Did a web search for the punch line "Them damn sheep are a bunch of liars!"

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
To probe my mind for forgotten jokes.
Here's one to add to your Doctor! Doctor! list:
A lady walks into a psychiatrist's office and says "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam!"  The psychiatrist says, "Calm down lady, you're too tense."

Jessica

Favorite cereal: Raisin Bran

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Dalton, Georgia.  Hick town in the bible belt of all the Super Christians

Hobbies: Computers

Famous quote:
"Holy shit!! Someone smacked my hair straight!!"

Shoe size: 8

Age: 16

What brought you to this site?
Looking up redneck jokes, sadly...

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
So I could lead them to the destruction of the universe!!!!

 

Mike Hunt

Favorite cereal: Oreos

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Alabama. What sucks 'bout it? My mom is also my sister!!!

Hobbies: Shooting ducks, painting dominos and shaving my gramma's back

Famous quote:
"I have a dream....you fucking off!"

Shoe size: 14

Age: 21

What brought you to this site?
Um...Let me think...Its not the pie...must be the jokes.

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
I don't know. I'll ask them tomorrow.

Haeli

Favorite cereal: Wheaties

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
West Salem.  It's prettty stupid.

Hobbies: Dance team

Famous quote:
"That that loves is the greatest."

Shoe size: 7 1/2

Age: 16

What brought you to this site?
Google

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
Because I talk a lot.

Louis Casaletto

Favorite cereal: Raisin Bran

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Frontenac, Kansas.  I like it.

Hobbies: Building miners' memorials

Famous quote:
"Don't give up."

Shoe size: 10 1/2

Age: 80

What brought you to this site?
I like your name.  My dad had the same name.

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
I'm fun

Jason Swick

Favorite cereal: Raisin Bran

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Bloomington, MN. The extreme temperatures makes it the hottest and coldest place to live on earth. We have a 120 degree temp difference between summer and winter.

Hobbies: Music, computers.

Famous quote:
"We should attack Russia now. They would never expect it." - George Carlin

Shoe size: 11

Age: 37

What brought you to this site?
Search for Rodney Dangerfield jokes

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
To remove the tracking device they implanted 15 years ago.

Greg

Favorite cereal: Kix

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
 [No answer]

Hobbies
[No answer]

Famous quote:
"If I had a nickel."

Shoe size: 8

Age: 54

What brought you to this site?
Jokes

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
For my wart

Chrystal Gardner

Favorite cereal: Who doesn't love Captain Crunch?

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Corona, CA. It has a bad rap for smelling like cow shit, but honestly, that smell is coming from my neighbors ass. There aren't any cows for at least 15 miles.

Hobbies:
Drinking and exercise. When you're a teacher the two go hand in hand.

Famous quote:
"Is it hot in here? Nope, it's just me."

Shoe size: 7- 1/2

Age: 25

What brought you to this site?
I was searching the internet

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
I was sittin' at home drunk...alone...again and just wanted to laugh. Not sure if it's the beer or jokes but I had a riot!

Danny McDonogh

Favorite cereal: I like cats

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Dapto, Wollongong, NSW - Australia
Humidity in summer & dickhead westies

Hobbies: I like to collect cockraoch legs & paste them to flies, then I let the flies go, freaks people out man.

Famous quote:
"Don't complain about stupid people, because if everyone in the world was as smart as you then you'd be the dumbest person in the world." - (My own).

Shoe size: 9-1/2

Age: 37

What brought you to this site?
I was bored at workeys

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
Becuase I'm a damn good anal probe.  I eat alphabet soup every night, so if I am abducted & probed I can send the aliens a message.  Or they may be just probing me to get the spare key to the car who knows.

Hank Stanczyk

Favorite cereal: Cheerios

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Wisconsin.  Hot and humid weather.

Hobbies: Fishing and killing Bambi

Famous quote:
"IThere you go."

Shoe size: 10-1/2

Age: 53

What brought you to this site?
From Rodney's

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
Find out where the brandy goes

Ann

Favorite cereal: Raisin Bran, with soy milk...I know it's weird, but so am I.

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Los Angeles.  Too many cars, too many people, too much money to do things...too many things to complain about!

Hobbies: Sunsets, reading, strolls on the beach.  No, wait, I am not a Playboy
Bunny.  I enjoy anything funny

Famous quote:
"If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. There's no use being a damn fool about it." - W.C. Fields

Shoe size: 9

Age: 29

What brought you to this site?
I was looking for funny red-neck jokes, and boy do you have them!

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
Because I would tell the alien lots of people to pull pranks on!

Andrea Underwood

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Duncanville, Texas.  People here think they are rich.

What brought you to this site?
I saw my brother Dimitrius Underwood's name on here. Well, his kids and niece and nephew saw it .

Kaleb

Favorite cereal: Frosted Flakes

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Seattle. The rain sucks a lot.

Hobbies: Video games, rollerblades, soccer,  track

Famous quote:
"If you aren't with us, you're with the terrorists." - Bush
then, "If you're not with me, you're against me." - Anakin in the Revenge of the 
Sith

Shoe size: 11

Age: 14

What brought you to this site?
Looking for jokes

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
I am cool

Heather

Favorite cereal: Fruity Pebbles

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Toledo. Not enough snow.

Hobbies: Researching gyms but not ever actually joining one

Famous quote:
"I reject your reality and substitute my own."

Shoe size: 9

Age: 34

What brought you to this site?
No arms no legs jokes

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
So the Federal Student Loan people couldn't find me.

Bill

Favorite cereal: Raisin Bran.  Need the bran...

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Cottonville, 'bout 3 miles from Aquadale, 10 miles to Plyler and 12 from Frog Pond.  'Bout 8 miles to Finger. Need I say more?

Hobbies: Collecting vintage Barbie dolls and switching their heads with GI Joe dolls

Famous quote:
"What color does a smurf turn when he is choking?"

Shoe size: 9 1/2

Age: 45

What brought you to this site?
Fate

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
Celestial exploration - to look into the Clingons that surround Uranus

Truscia

Favorite cereal: Captain Crunch

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
I live in Montgomery

Hobbies: Sing, dance, cook, clean, play pianio, babysit, work and school

Famous quote:
None

Shoe size: 5

Age: [No answer]

What brought you to this site?
I was searching the internet

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
I don't know what that means

Bambi-Jo

Favorite cereal: Not really a cereal person

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
In PA.  I hate it because it is so cold.  I want to go back to Key West, FL.

Hobbies: Art, singing, having fun with my family

Famous quote:
"Do unto others as you would like them to do unto you."

Shoe size: 8

Age: 28

What brought you to this site?
Looking for good jokes for my MySpace page to share with friends

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
I don't think they would.....lol

 

Rich

Favorite cereal: Quisp - don't know if they still make it.

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Live: Carlsbad 
Sucks: $$$ Expensive $$$  If you don't have the 'Doe Rey Me' it isn't the best place.

Hobbies: Dog, car, sleep, you know, the usual. 

Famous quote:
"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read." -- Groucho Marx

Shoe size: 10-1/2

Age: 43

What brought you to this site?
Looking for "What do you call a person with no arms and no legs…" answers. 
Hey, I thought of a new one I would like you to add to the ever-growing list. "What do you call a person with no arms and no legs…and is covered with glue/paste?"
Answer: Elmer (hee hee hee) 

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
Morbid curiosity?

 

Marrah

Favorite cereal: Hrrrmmm (it changes often). Right now it's Captian Crunch.

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Alabama.  The fact that it's Alabama.

Hobbies: Eating the flesh of children (kidding).

Famous quote:
"More Ovaltine, please."

Shoe size: 8 1/2

Age: 17

What brought you to this site?
Boredom

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
I've been waiting 17 years for them to take me back.

 

Super Safety Man

Favorite cereal: 
Super Safety Man's Cereal Crunch (I think they're fully sick!)

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Super Safety Ville [named after meeee]. 

Hobbies: Looking in the mirror.

Famous quote:
"Mummm!!! There's ants in my leotard."

Shoe size: 14

Age: I must keep my identity secret.

What brought you to this site?
My friend's great great grandma (she has a crush on the website owner.)

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
Because they find my manly perfume smexxi/shmexi/sexy!

 

Elmo

Favorite cereal: Elmo Likes Jiggly Joe's Jolly Jam Cereal (made from real Joe!)

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Elmo lives in Sesame Street.  Elmo is sorry for spelling, Elmo just won't be fu**ed today. Anyway Elmo loves Sesame Street except for the mother fu**ing nice people.  Elmo thinks there's not enough adventure.

Hobbies: Elmo like killing kids who eat pig guts :D

Famous quote:
"Elmo's been a bad little monster."

Shoe size: 3

Age: 3

What brought you to this site?
Elmo was searching for jokes [and porn, don't tell Big Bird Elmo said that] and Elmo thinks this is a very funny website =)

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
Because Elmo so cute and fuzzy and Elmo also have cute burp (cuter than Rove's!). :)

 

Rosalina

Favorite cereal: Cocoa Puffs

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
I live Fort Worth, Texas. 
I sucks cause there ain't that much places to go hang out at
.

Hobbies: Smoke, drink, and party

Famous quote:
"Suck a dick and die."

Shoe size: 8 1/2

Age: 18

What brought you to this site?
I was just browsing through the internet

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
I don't think they would want to

 

Joe Mama

Favorite cereal: Fruit Loops

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Texas.  It's either too hot or too cold.

Hobbies: Pro paintball  #12 Dallas Dynasty.

Famous quote:
"Don't get high on your own supply."

Shoe size: 8 1/2

Age: 16

What brought you to this site?
Google

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
'Cause of my..............

 

Ann

Favorite cereal: Used to be Super Sugar Crisp; as I got older it has become anything with fiber.

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Chicago, IL; Nothing! Chicago's a great city with a great mixture of personalities.

Hobbies: Watching Friends. Laughing.

Famous quote:
"We were on a BREAK!"

Shoe size: 8

Age: 51

What brought you to this site?
Looking for Mark Casaletto

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
'Cause I'm very, very funny!

 

Samantha

Favorite cereal: Cocoa Puffs

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
South Wales Cwmbran 
People begging u for money

Hobbies: Watching 'My Parents Are Aliens'.

Famous quote:
"Danielle McCormack"

Shoe size: 5 1/2

Age: 13

What brought you to this site?
He is really cool.

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
Make friends to see what it like.

 

John Casaletto

Favorite cereal: Cinammon Toast Crunk

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
I live in Chicago. 10% tax on prepared food. It cost $1.75 for a one way trip on the "L". They pick up trash twice a week, which means I don't have as many rat friends.

Hobbies: Googling myself repeatedly...that is not a double entendre.

Famous quote:
"The silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain thilled me, filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before..."

Shoe size: 13

Age: 33

What brought you to this site?
I googled me and was linked via John Casaletto of Malta.

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
Because I smell minty.

 

Nursery Guy from TyTy

Favorite cereal: Capt. Crunch

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
I’m from the entertainment capital of the world -- TyTy Georgia.

Hobbies: Standup comic

Famous quote:
"TyTy- where the men are men and the sheep are scared!  Right now my neighbor’s wife is mowing her grass with her teeth, she said her snapper was broke!"

Shoe size: 9 1/2

Age: 32

What brought you to this site?
Acid

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
 I know the secret of life (It’s really about the hokey pokey).

 

Rory

Favorite cereal: Cinnamon Toast Crunch

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
I live in Ohio.  Everything sucks about Ohio because there is nothing to do here. It's boring as fuck and there are no jobs and people are jackasses here.

Hobbies: Video games. Mortal Kombat kicks ass.

Famous quote:
"I haven't failed, I have just found 1,000 ways it doesn't work."

Shoe size: 8

Age: 13

What brought you to this site?
I was looking for Cinnamon Toast Crunch backgrounds.

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
I don't know. Why would an alien abuct me? I mean come on, what kind of stupid question is this? You tell me. Meh... I suppose these things happen. I mean, all of a sudden they come out of the sky and just like... grab you! 

 

Sandy

Favorite cereal: Frosted Mini-Wheats (the bite sized ones) because you can eat it with or without milk

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Florida. When it gets around like 65 degrees, ya that's like pretty cold, but we can go swimming year round like during hurricanes and Christmas and not get hypothermia.

Hobbies: Wakeboarding, boating, sports, drumming

Famous quote:
"Heads up!!" "Hey, what is that??" "Eeeewww" "Thank you very little" "Duuude let's like put a strobe light on a fan without lights and make the fan go crazy"

Shoe size: 9-1/2

Age: 16

What brought you to this site?
It was connected to Jack Handy's deep thoughts.

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
Because of the fact that I am the coolest person on the planet.

 

Capi

Favorite cereal: Captain Crunch with bananas and raisins in it

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Who cares? As far as I know everything sucks.

Hobbies: Killing birds, eating, sleeping, bathing, and exploding people

Famous quote:
"Oh crap!"

Shoe size: 9-1/2

Age: 13

What brought you to this site?
Bush jokes

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
Cause of the looks and a brutal mind

 

Shannon

Favorite cereal: Froot Loops 

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
BC Canada. This town is too small, nowhere to go.

Hobbies: Sun tanning at the beach lol and hanging with friends and partying.

Famous quote:
"Back the f*** up before you get knocked the f*** up."

Shoe size: 5

Age: 15

What brought you to this site?
I don't know. I just felt like looking at jokes.

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
Cause everyone luvs me so it figures it should too

 

Nicky

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Everything, and who the heck cares where I live?

Hobbies: Killing birds

Shoe size: 12-1/2

Age: 25

What brought you to this site?
Jokes

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
Because of my looks

 

Morgan

Favorite cereal: Froot Loops 

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Ladysmith. It has no water slides nor any parks.

Hobbies: Soccer and football

Famous quote:
"acdc"

Shoe size: 4-1/2

Age: 10

What brought you to this site?
Because I think he is a kool guy.

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
Cause I am hot

 

Isahiana Duran

Favorite cereal: corn flakes

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Rhode Island because it's Rhode Island and it's boring and cold.

Hobbies: Basketball,expensive cars,and racing

Famous quote:
"Haven't found it."

Shoe size: 9-1/2

Age: 13

What brought you to this site?
A friend

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
Cause I'm dangerous and beautiful

 

Simon

Favorite cereal: none 

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
In Sandy, Bedfordshire, England.
It sucks so bad, I'm moving to Thailand!

Hobbies: Darts

Famous quote:
"If you never try, you can never fail."

Shoe size: 9

Age: 29

What brought you to this site?
Rodney Dangerfield

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
My looks

 

K.L. McQuay

Favorite cereal: none 

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Wisconsin -- 9 months winter

Hobbies: Who cares

Famous quote:
"Ahh shit!"

Shoe size: 8

Age: 48

What brought you to this site?
Rodney Dangerfield

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
How do you stay so skinny ?

 

Mansi

Favorite cereal: Froot Loops

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
 In India. Loads of things sux. If I start tellin u I'll never finish

Hobbies: Acting, singing, and extreme sports

Famous quote:
"I'm the best!"

Shoe size: 5

Age: 19

What brought you to this site?
Just needed some baby pics to put on my wallpaper

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
Only if he wants to save the earth from a total brat!

 

Ed

Favorite cereal: Peanut Butter Cap'n Crunch 

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
St Louis, MO.  I really love it.

Hobbies: Stand up comedy
Rodney Impersonator

Famous quote:
"Call me sometime when you have no class."

Shoe size: 12

Age: 37

What brought you to this site?
Rodney Dangerfield

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
If they loved Rodney Dangerfield

 

Sharon Worley

Favorite cereal: Frosted Flakes

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Sale Creek Tennessee

Hobbies: Love animals

Famous quote:
"Hell if I know."

Shoe size: 8

Age: Jail bait

What brought you to this site?
Need some laughs

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
I don't know

 

Dan and Syd

Favorite cereal: Kix

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
MI. You can have all 4 seasons in one day.

Hobbies: Hang out with each other

Famous quote:
"2 things to be good at are 1 getting a hot guy and 2 getting the right guy."

Shoe size: 9 1/2

Age: 14

What brought you to this site?
Just looking 4 jokes

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
Because she is hot

 

Pilar Moa

Favorite cereal: Never wake up on time for it

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Chicago, Mayor Daley

Hobbies: Mostly sex

Famous quote:
"I am so broke, I can't even afford to pay attention."

Shoe size: 11 1/2

Age: 25

What brought you to this site?
Looking up info on Rodney Dangerfield

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
To take me back to Mexico

 

Dylan Tyler

Favorite cereal: Cinnamon Toast Crunch

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Hollywood, CA. Nothing.

Hobbies: Paparazzi photographer

Famous quote:
"You can be a king or a street sweeper. But everybody dances with the Grim Reaper."

Shoe size: 10 1/2

Age: 25

What brought you to this site?
Rodney Dangerfield jokes

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
Wouldn't

 

Jim

Favorite cereal: Hops

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Wherever I am. I'm lost.

Hobbies: Breathing

Famous quote:
"I'm never felt more like myself than I do right now."

Shoe size: 11

Age: I forget

What brought you to this site?
Instructions beamed down from the mother ship.

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
Because I'm here.

 

George R. Flinn

Favorite cereal: Cheerios w/raisins, sliced almonds, cinnamon,and banana

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
In Stewartstown, PA.  Absolutely nothing, If you ask me...and you did.

Hobbies: Golf

Famous quote:
"It seemed like the thing to do at the time"

Shoe size: 12

Age: 58

What brought you to this site?
Dangerfield jokes

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
To study the results of mutation of a long strange line of DNA. 

 

Stephanie

Favorite cereal: Cap'n Crunch

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Maryland, TRAFFIC!! No doubt.  Was on the beltway two days ago, fuckers made me pass my exit because nobody would let me over......grr I was mad!!

Hobbies: Horseback riding, teach cheerleading for young girls in a local football league. Watching football too of course :)

Famous quote:
"
Laugh and the world laughs with you. Snore and you sleep alone."

Shoe size: 7

Age: 24

What brought you to this site?
I was looking for no arms and legs jokes and here I am

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
Cause I've seen them around, they know it too, afraid I'll tell the world that I know that they are out there. Do you believe? Also, I think it's cause I'm dead sexy.

 

Al

Favorite cereal: Quaker something or other

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Dallas. Too many Republicans.

Hobbies: [no answer]

Famous quote:
"You'll never take me alive, copper!"

Shoe size: 12

Age: 61

What brought you to this site?
A friend referred me to the Rodney tribute

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
[no answer]

 

Gerrod

Favorite cereal: Christ Chex (from Dane Cook of Comedy Central)

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
TN. Everyone thinks we're hillbillies, and from the school I go to I see why. I guess I'm just different and was born in the wrong place. (oh well screw it).

Hobbies: Video games (cause I'm a loser like that)

Famous quote:
Just a proverb to live by:
"People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where my watch is buddy, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is?"

Shoe size: 9 1/2

Age: 16

What brought you to this site?
A friend showed me and it looked kool

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
Because they would want to probe me a lot. Why? I don't know, my luck just sucks like that.

Justin Cissom

Favorite cereal: Probably Trix

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Cleveland TN.  Nobody and I mean nobody can freakin drive arond here, at least none I have seen.

Hobbies: I listen to lots of music and watch movies, mainly ones directed/written by Quentin Tarantino.

Famous quote:
"
Life sucks then you die"

Shoe size: 13

Age: 15

What brought you to this site?
Rodney Dangerfield jokes

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
Because it would want to see if I am really stupid as hell or am I just crazy.  Then they would see I am both and they would drop me off real fast because they would fear for their lives.

 

Michael Gulino

Favorite cereal: [no answer]

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Denver NC is a nice place, but the pizza sucks.

Hobbies: Race cars

Famous quote:
[no answer]

Shoe size: 12

Age: 43

What brought you to this site?
You have a nice house.  Good luck, I just knew it was in NC. I just moved just north of you on Lake Norman on the west side of the lake in the town of Denver.

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
[no answer]

 

Buzz McKeever

Favorite cereal: Scotch and Wheaties

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Syracuse, NY. I wish Rodney were alive today to answer that! The way I sum it up is, the only reason people come here is because they must have lost a bet with somebody!!

Hobbies: I could use a hobby, it seems all I ever do is work. Divorces do that to a guy.

Famous quote:
"Don't let 'em shit on you. Open your mouth."
"If you don't have a dream, your life will always be about your problems."

Shoe size: 10

Age: 62

What brought you to this site?
In search of Rodney's jokes

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
Because he lost a bet with somebody.

 

Alesha

Favorite cereal: [no answer]

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Buffalo. Some people are racist.

Hobbies: Hanging out with friends, going to the mall.

Famous quote:
"Running around like a chicken with no legs"

Shoe size: 7

Age: 16

What brought you to this site?
To see all the babies.

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
I don't know.

 

Lorraine

Favorite cereal: Shredded Wheat with Bran (gotta keep regular, if you know what I mean!)

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Toronto, Ontario
What sucks about it: The Toronto Maple Leafs, but since they're on strike.....

Hobbies: Reading, surfing, stamp collecting, travelling, cybersex (haha), donating my time and money to my fellow man to make this world a better place....

Famous quote:
"I've had enough!!"  (Usually said 5 mins after I arrive at work and sit at my desk.)

Shoe size: 8 1/2

Age: 39

What brought you to this site?
The jokes

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
Because I'm special.

 

Bernie

Favorite cereal: Irish Oatmeal

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
New Jersey. It's New Jersey.

Hobbies: Bowling

Famous quote:
"I'll be back!  Unless they lock the cell."

Shoe size: 13

Age: 58

What brought you to this site?
I can't get enough Rodney Dangerfield jokes

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
So many people thought I was a space cadet as a teen, the alien would think he was bringing me home.

 

Dale

Favorite cereal: Cream of Wheat

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Moorhead Minnesota.  It gets so cold that in the winter your words freeze outside and you have to take them in to thaw out to hear what you said

Hobbies: Wood carving and applying band-aids

Famous quote:
"I once tried to commit suicide by jumping off a building. I changed my mind at the last minute, so I just flipped over and landed on my feet. Two little kittens nearby saw what happened and one turned to the other and said, 'See, that's how it's done.' "

Shoe size: 13

Age: 50

What brought you to this site?
Rodney Dangerfield  jokes.  I loved him, he was so funny.

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
Because I do a good job on lawn care

 

Gary

Favorite cereal: Cocoa Rice Crispies

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Jackson, GA.  The county is "Butts"- no kidding.

Hobbies: Golf and gardening.  Gardening because that is where most of my golfballs go...in some else's garden!!

Famous quote:
"Running around like a chicken with no legs"

Shoe size: 8 1/2

Age: 53

What brought you to this site?
Rodney Dangerfield jokes

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
I live in "Butt's County" Ga...

 

Jimmy

Favorite cereal: Cocoa Pebbles

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Staten Island, New York.  Nothing sucks, NEW YORK ROCKS!!!

Hobbies: Baseball, music, comedy

Famous quote:
"If you get hurt and miss work, it don't hurt to miss work!"

Shoe size: 11

Age: 39

What brought you to this site?
Just plain luck, I guess!

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
To check out the size of my genitalia!!!

 

Debbie

Favorite cereal: Captain Crunch

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
M
ass.......my ex's live here too......LMAO

Hobbies: Making my current ex's life miserable...lol

Famous quote:
"It's not over until I'm done with you."

Shoe size: 8

Age: 43

What brought you to this site?
Friend sent me the Rodney jokes

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
B
ecause my ex paid them to do it

 

Joe

Favorite cereal: Used to be Quisp, but since it's gone now, I'd have to say it's a toss up between Cap'n Crunch with Crunchberries and Honeycombs.

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
PA and everything ... lol

Hobbies: Bowling, listening to good comedy, and seeing my girl whenever I can.

Famous quote:
"Trust me ... hehehehehe."

Shoe size: 10 1/2

Age: 42

What brought you to this site?
I did a search for Rodney Dangerfield sites. Yours was the first I came to. I liked what I saw. 

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
Maybe cause they want another moon to orbit their planet ???!!!

 

Bhavesh

Favorite cereal: What's cereal? We have wild buck for breakfast.

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
South Africa. Hunting for our prey.

Hobbies: Hunting, making fire with 2 sticks and cave painting

Famous quote:
"Love thy neighbour. But don't get caught."

Shoe size: 8

Age: 23

What brought you to this site?
Rodney Dangerfield

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
So I can teach them how to speak our official language, "Gorilla".

 

Jen

Favorite cereal: Lucky Charms or Count Chocula

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Michigan.  No people who listen to good music.

Hobbies: Bass, drums, music, the Beatles, reading, tv, video games, walking Rico, talking with Joy

Famous quote:
"Make LOVE not WAR."

Shoe size: 8 1/2

Age: 13

What brought you to this site?
Rodney Dangerfield's death

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
Because hes a beatles fan

 

Kato

Favorite cereal: Red River

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Richmond B.C. Canada. The taxes.

Hobbies: Cars, fishing ,camping

Famous quote:
"Velly, velly interesting!"

Shoe size: 9

Age: 47

What brought you to this site?
Rodney Dangerfield

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
To retrieve the microchip planted in my eye 35 years ago!

 

Frank Bordelon

Favorite cereal: I like Cocoa Pebbles, my wife likes to do Trix!

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Smithtown. Too many ugly people, so they want me to leave!

Hobbies: Collectibles, cooking, gardening.

Famous quote:
"Send in Lou Cabrasea!"

Shoe size: 10 1/2

Age: 46

What brought you to this site?
MSN's search engine

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
I wouldn't let him have my X-File DVD sets!

 

Mike

Favorite cereal: Grape Nuts

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Long Island, New York. The taxes are so high the schools are leaving.

Hobbies: Car racing

Famous quote:
"Summertime and the living is easy."

Shoe size: 12 1/2

Age: 44

What brought you to this site?
A link

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
[no answer]

 

Cool Cliftop

Favorite cereal: Ritz Crackers and milk

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Sacramento. Too close to San Francisco.

Hobbies: Buying stuff and looking at free porn on the net

Famous quote:
"Life is good!"

Shoe size: 7 1/2

Age: 50

What brought you to this site?
The enter button

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
To better their evolution process

 

Denise

Favorite cereal: Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Try them, u might like.

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
M
iddletown, CT, and what sucks is that there's nowhere to shop!!

Hobbies: Working out,surfing the net, shopping

Famous quote:
"Life is good!"

Shoe size: 7 1/2

Age: 35

What brought you to this site?
I'm not quite sure!! Dangerfield, maybe.

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
For my sense of humor ha! ha!

 

Ron Garcia

Favorite cereal: Rice Chex

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Cathedral City, CA. The heat!

Hobbies: Boxing

Famous quote:
"Only in America."

Shoe size: 9 1/2

Age: 54

What brought you to this site?
Rodney

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
S
o I could train them in boxing and get them ready for the next Olympics

 

Don

Favorite cereal: Corn fakes

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
 La Ronge. Nothing, it's beautful.

Hobbies: Walking

Famous quote:
"Live life and learn."

Shoe size: 7 1/2

Age: 33

What brought you to this site?
Just looking around

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
I hope it never happens.

 

Richard J. Long

Favorite cereal: None

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Baltimore. It has all the personality of a paper cup. It's nothing but an overblown truck stop between NYC and DC.

Hobbies: Blues music

Famous quote:
"You cheat a honest man, or wizen up a chump." -- WC Fields

Shoe size: 9 1/2

Age: 54

What brought you to this site?
When Rodney died, a radio talk show host put a link to your website, on his website. Ergo, I have arrived.

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
Only if he transports me to the planet of the wayward women.

 

Linnette Cunningham

Favorite cereal: Corn Pops

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Maryland. Traffic and crime.

Hobbies: Reading, gardening, gambling

Famous quote:
"What, me worry?"

Shoe size: 8 1/2

Age: 57

What brought you to this site?
Loved Rodney and may he rest in peace

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
My looks

 

Guitar Joe

Favorite cereal: Fruit Loops

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Buffalo.  Need I say more?

Hobbies: Music

Famous quote:
"Thank you very much."

Shoe size: 8 1/2

Age: 50

What brought you to this site?
Fun

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
For fun

 

Bhavesh

Favorite cereal: Corn Flakes

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
South Africa. Everything.

Hobbies: Single ladies, chicks, good looking women, and babes. Don't forget babes.

Famous quote:
"Love thy neighbour, but don't get caught."

Shoe size: 8

Age: 23

What brought you to this site?
The story on Rodney Dangerfield

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
To study my sense of humour, only to their surprise, there wouldn't be any.

 

Saul

Favorite cereal: Yuk

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Lubbock, everything

Hobbies: Wandering around aimlessly

Famous quote:
"Live today as if you are gonna die tomarrow. Dream as if you'll live 4 ever."

Shoe size: 10

Age: 26

What brought you to this site?
Looked up Rodney Dangerfield

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
Dashing good looks

 

Christian

Favorite cereal: Special K

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Here...Texas

Hobbies: Song writer

Famous quote:
"Be yourself."

Shoe size: 7 1/2

Age: 19

What brought you to this site?
Lucky ...I guess

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
He wouldn't. I'm not a hick..lol

 

Garry

Favorite cereal: Anything sugar coated

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
SoCal, homos

Hobbies: Anything that keeps me from having to deal with my wife

Famous quote:
"If she were my daughter I'd..."

Shoe size: 13

Age: 47

What brought you to this site?
Rodney

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
To see what possessed me to marry my wife

 

Rich Romanowski

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Philadelpgy

Shoe size: 11

What brought you to this site?
Yahoo!

 

Elizabeth

Favorite cereal: Lucky Charms, Quaker Squares, granola cereal

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
[no answer]

Hobbies: Watching movies, napping, going out to eat, babies, animals

Famous quote:
"There is nothing to fear but fear itself."

Shoe size: 10

Age: 28

What brought you to this site?
Rodney Jokes

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
'Cuz I'm so nice!

 

Maggie

Favorite cereal: Shredded Wheat

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Goose Creek, SC

Hobbies: Puttering

Famous quote:
"Who's your daddy?"

Shoe size: 6

Age: 50

What brought you to this site?
Rodney Dangerfield

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
My mother left me behind

 

Dan

Favorite cereal: Captain Crunch

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
China. The women are beautiful, but go luck getting them in the sack if you look like me.

Hobbies: Porn

Famous quote:
"It's society's fault, because...."

Shoe size: 10 1/2

Age: 45

What brought you to this site?
Rodney's death

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
To serve mankind

 

Emma

Favorite cereal: Yuk

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
England... need to ask??

Hobbies: [no answer]

Famous quote:
"I hate cereal."

Shoe size: 11 1/2

Age: 37

What brought you to this site?
Looking for new baby photos!!!!!!!!!.....um need I say more....... that daughter of yours will get a complex!!!

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
B
ecause they hate cereal too.

 

Kevin

Favorite cereal: Captain Crunch

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Florida. Nothing, it's great.

Hobbies: Waterskiing

Famous quote:
"
If one syncronized swimmer drowns do the rest of them have to also?"

Shoe size: 11 1/2

Age: 19

What brought you to this site?
I was looking up Rodney Dangerfield quotes.

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
Cause I'm dead SEXY!!

 

Teela

Favorite cereal: Raisin Bran

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Athens. It's a stupid town.

Hobbies: Basketball, Soccer,Tennis

Famous quote:
Don't know

Shoe size: 6 1/2

Age: 10

What brought you to this site?
google.com

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
Don't know

 

Dufasio

Favorite cereal: Raisin Splits (If they are still being made. If not, Cocoa Pops)

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
UK, and it sucks because of the weather.

Hobbies: None (loser)

Famous quote:
"
Sooner or later everybody ends up getting shot."

Shoe size: 9 1/2

Age: 29

What brought you to this site?
A random act of google

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
Probing. Need I say more?

 

Brad Welty

Favorite cereal: I don't do cereal

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Huntington, IN.  It's home.

Hobbies: Home brewing

Famous quote:
"
If there's an original thought out there, I could use it right now." -- Bob Dylan

Shoe size: 11 1/2

Age: 43

What brought you to this site?
Fate

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
My command of intergalactic languages

 

Danielle

Favorite cereal: Cocoa Puffs or those Reeces things

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
I
n a small freakin town with a lot of retarded preps......what sucks... there's nowhere to shop or to flippin have a good time.. just get into trouble!

Hobbies: My boyfriend.....we find a lot of stuff to do together!

Famous quote:
"S
uck my dick" ...lol even though I don't have one!

Shoe size: 6 1/2

Age: 15

What brought you to this site?
ask.com.  I was searching for something to do.

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
H
mmm:) Let's see....I'm good.....lol at things and I'm wierd like them and I do crazy crap!

 

Joe V. Casaletto

Favorite cereal: Chex (makes great party mix)

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Coralville, IA. Constant weather changes, nothing but corn and pigs.

Hobbies: Making chain maille, XBOX enthusiast, beer conniseur, Lord of the Rings fanatic

Famous quote:
"From the ashes, a fire will be woken. A light from the darkness shall spring. Renewed shall be blade that was broken. The crownless again shall be king."

Shoe size: 13

Age: 22

What brought you to this site?
I wanted to see if someone had my name as a web address.

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
 
I'm 6'6". I probably look normal compared to them.

 

Jeff H

Favorite cereal: [no answer]

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Illinois, nothing much.

Hobbies: Bowling

Famous quote:
"I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones." -- Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955)

Shoe size: 15
^I swear that's my shoe size^  It's a bitch finding shoes!

Age: 14

What brought you to this site?
Rodney Dangerfield stuff

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
 I don't know, but don't listen to Joe, BASEketball is a really good movie.

 

Daniel Warlick

Favorite cereal: Breakfast cereal is devilish trash.  Any whom succumb to the "quaker scourge" is less of a man in my book.

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Seattle, Washington.
It rains every SINGLE DAY!
Oh, and those god damn yuppies.

Hobbies: Soccer, poetry, quantum physics

Famous quote:
 "Scattered sandals, a call back to myself so hollow I would echo" -- Roy Kurtzweil's cybernetic poet

Shoe size: 12

Age: 18

What brought you to this site?
My genetic superiority and pigeon-like homing instincts. OK Joe is my uncle.

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
Because turnabout is fair play.

 

Rhianna

Favorite cereal: Quaker Harvest Crunch

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
T
oronto. 
I can't listen to Howard Stern clearly any more on Q107.  Now he broadcasts in Buffalo, but the radioactive waves can suck sometimes.  He's worth hearing.  I actually tape him during the morning get ready for work and come home do what I have to do then go to sleep and press play.  Like a lullaby I hear Howard's voice.  He cracks me up even when I'm trying to go to sleep. He's great.  He loves Rodney - who doesn't?

Hobbies: Sewing, painting, horseback riding, walks in the country, just being me in a private place, peace ...whatever

Famous quote:
"If you don't succeed, fuck it!"

Shoe size: 11

Age: 3

What brought you to this site?
The Rodney Dangerfield site

Thank you for creating the page. I hope your little baby girl will grow up with health, happiness, beauty, respect, honour...and love.  Can't wait till you have the little one...love Rhiannna!

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
Because I'm different.  Tall blonde/ ok dyed blonde from another world..so the others say/think. I've been told this since age 16....ya so we'd get along.

 

Teresa Teixeira

Favorite cereal: Hunny-B's

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
I live in S. Calif. Three words: one-hundred twelve degrees.

Hobbies: Drama, music

Famous quote:
"They only call it PMSing because Mad Cow Disease was already taken."

Shoe size: 6 1/2

Age: I forget

What brought you to this site?
I came for the "no arms and no legs" jokes. They're HILARIOUS!!!

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
Get on TV

 

Jennifer

Favorite cereal: Cocoa Puffs

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
NY. The weather.

Hobbies: Quilting

Famous quote:
"I am the way, the truth, and the life." -- Jesus

Shoe size: 5

Age: 28

What brought you to this site?
Surfing the web for baby pics. I think I may be pregnant and got excited! Congratulations on your growing family!!

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
To cook for him

 

Veronica Casaletto

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
I live in Cibolo, TX. I am originally from CA. There is nothing to do here.

Shoe size: 8

Age: 22

What brought you to this site?
I have never seen anyone but my family with this last name so I thought I would check it out.

 

John Roth

Favorite cereal: Ted Bundy

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Florida and nothing sucks here except the women

Hobbies: Women, beer, and motorcycles - sometimes at the same time

Famous quote:
"I will beat you like a red-headed stepchild."

Shoe size: 9 1/2

Age: 40

What brought you to this site?
Found it through the Yo Mama's so fat link

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
I don't know why they would if they exist

 

John Casaletto

Favorite cereal: Bran

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
England.  I like everything about my country of adoption.  I will not look a gift horse in the mouth

Hobbies: Trying to keep young. Music (classic and opera) and modern jazz.

Famous quote:
"The evil that men do lives after them; the good is oft interr'd with their bones." -- Shakespeare

Shoe size: 9 1/2

Age: 68

What brought you to this site?
casaletto.com was put up by my three brilliant sons (excuse me for bragging). Anyone who is a Casaletto is worth following. We are also related to a great painter but they spelled his name wrong.

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
The wisdom of Solomon and Aristotle's logic is ingrained in my grey matter. He must come quick though - before Alzheimer's gets much worse.

 

Emma

Favorite cereal: Yuk

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
England -  the weather.

Hobbies: Hmmmm.. web design mostly.

Famous quote:
"Yukkity duck."

Shoe size: 4 1/2

Age: I forget

What brought you to this site?
Wesley's pictures. I want more.  You've stopped putting them up!!!!! WHY?????????

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
We have much in common

 

Chuck Elsberry

Favorite cereal: Blueberry Morning

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Alaska - long winter

Hobbies:  Golf

Famous quote:
"
I never met a man I didn't like." - Will Rogers

Shoe size: 12

Age: 53

What brought you to this site?
L
ink from Rodney Dangerfield site

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
For my jokes

 

Carla

Favorite cereal: Lucky Charms

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
I actually live in Boston

Hobbies:  [none]

Famous quote:
"Never say goodbye, because goodbye might make you cry."

Shoe size: 8

Age: 17

What brought you to this site?
W
ell actually I was doing a school project, a family tree, and I was looking up the last name Casaletto, because that's my last name so I was curious if I was related to you. Also your son is beautiful - I saw the pics of him online.

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
Cuz of my personality!!! hehe

 

Mark Casaletto

Favorite cereal: Captain Crunch - My wife won't buy it for me!

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Carol Stream, IL. Carol Stream, IL.

Hobbies:  Piano, complaining

Famous quote:
"Don't complain about what you can't do!"

Shoe size: 10

Age: 40

What brought you to this site?
Looking for family - I am a child of a divorced relationship!

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
I have a great sex drive

 

Doug

Favorite cereal: Reese's Peanut Butter Crunch

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Baltimore

Hobbies:  Biking, ceramics, home improvement

Famous quote:
"I try to avoid hobbies, they take up too much of my spare time."

Shoe size: 10

Age: 33

What brought you to this site?
A no arms and no legs joke

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
Food

 

Flathead

Favorite cereal: Quisp

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Westland. Redford is the only buffer between us and Detroit.

Hobbies:  Surfin' for porn

Famous quote:
"Last week I went to the proctologist.  He stuck his finger in my mouth." - Dangerfield

Shoe size: 15

Age: One foot in the grave

What brought you to this site?
A search for Rodney Dangerfield jokes

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
See shoe size

 

Ashley and Courtney

Favorite cereal: Trix and Cinnamon Toast Crunch

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
We both live in NH and it sux cuz there is so much fuckin idiots!

Hobbies:  Cheerleading, dance, basketball, football, and a lot of things

Famous quote:
"Wazzup my homie!!!???żżż"

Shoe size: 5 1/2

Age: 15

What brought you to this site?
We looked up his sn and then checked out his site!

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
Cuz we're the sexiest girls around!!

 

Kaleina

Favorite cereal: Cinnamon Toast Crunch

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Seattle -- the rain

Hobbies:  view my website http://www.refinance-mortgage-calculator-home-for-sale.com

Shoe size: 7 1/2

Age: 21

What brought you to this site?
search engine

 

Alyssa

Favorite cereal: Lucky Charms

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
P
opulation 000000000

Hobbies:  None, I'm a blonde!!

Famous quote:
"Live and learn!" and "You can't rape the willing!"

Shoe size: 8 1/2

Age: 13

What brought you to this site?
Ask Jeeves. com and being blonde!

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
I'd think it was fun

 

Ricky Brake

Favorite cereal: Flutie Flakes

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Rock Hill; It's too far from Wesley

Hobbies:  JCFFL

Famous quote:
"Drop down and do 15 on every reboot" -- The Hulk

Shoe size: 10 1/2

Age: I forget

What brought you to this site?
Joe himself...Hi Elizabeth!
Wesley's looking great!  Love pool #1 shot.

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
Because I can't make the fantasy draft

 

Catrina Walsh

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
UK - now in Manchester.  We now have the Commonwealth Games.  Terminal traffic.

Hobbies:  Rebuilding our new house or rather old one...

Famous quote:
"Twain Candy is dandy; liquor is quicker."

Age: 31

What brought you to this site?
Just came to memory - I was actually sending you my change of address

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
I can rebuild houses... maybe and have friends all over to show.

 

Jerry Norrenberns

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
St. Louis.  Humidity.

Shoe size: 10 1/2

What brought you to this site?
Newspaper article

 

Cindy

Favorite cereal: Honey Nut Cheerios

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Missouri - it is soooo humid.  If you open a bag of chips within half an hour they are soft.

Hobbies:  Swimming, bowling, sex

Famous quote:
"Whatever."

Shoe size: 6 1/2

Age: 46

What brought you to this site?
T
he Post-Dispatch newspaper in St. Louis, Missouri

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
To use as a poster child for avoiding planet earth

 

Anthony

Favorite cereal: Umm, good question.  Don't know.

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Michigan because no one lives here... kind of

Hobbies:  1.) Being an ass  2.) BMXing and snowboarding  3.) Looking at girls because I can't get them and stuff

Famous quote:
"Some motha fuckas don't play dat shit.  I'm one of those motha fuckas."

Shoe size: 11

Age: 14

What brought you to this site?
um a friend

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
B
ecause I'm ugly and they would like wonder about me and stuff

 

I3rian

Favorite cereal: Cocoa Puffs, Fruity Pebbles and why the fuck are u asking me what kind of cereal I like LOL

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
AZ  It's just so hot down here like an oven!  And people talk so much SHIT!  I use yo jokes to clown on some people!

Hobbies:  Play warcraft, sports, sleep, draw, dawg on peeps and my schedule goes on and on

Famous quote:
"We were enemies we fought on a team you were about to be shot in the end I sacrificed my life for you and stood up for you and I lost my life cause of you...."

Shoe size: 10 1/2

Age: 16

What brought you to this site?
Yo mama jokes

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
To take my balls and use them and put them between their legs just to be like me :)

 

Theresa Charpentier

Favorite cereal: Hate it

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Wilder, VT.  Everything!

Hobbies:  This and that. Mostly dumb stuff.

Famous quote:
"Piss on it."

Shoe size: 8

Age: 47

What brought you to this site?
Looking for Rodney Dangerfield jokes

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
Because I have large boobalas

 

Rasmas

Favorite cereal: Cheerios

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
British Columbia

Hobbies:  Fishing and golf

Famous quote:
"Suck this.  I mean this sucks."

Shoe size: 9 1/2

Age: 60

What brought you to this site?
Just surfing around

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
Breeding stock

 

Ashlee Gray

Favorite cereal: Yo Mama

Hobbies:  Watch the telly

Famous quote:
"If I knew I wouldn't."

Shoe size: 15

Age: I forget

What brought you to this site?
The "yo mama so fat" jokes

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
Why ask why?

 

Superrock

Favorite cereal: Nuclear Fruity Pebbles

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Pennsylvania. The nation's @$$hole by far! Its roads suck, there are no jobs, you pay taxes out the wazoo, and it's so rural, it's like one gigantic farm!  It's also stuck 20-25 years in the past, like it can't get over the collapse of the steel mills and coal mines in the late 70's. This is also evident in the sense that we are not allowed to sell beer in our supermarkets, but you can do it virtually everywhere else in this country.  Also, the residents are pretty much pukes. They are all either crotchety old farts who grew up WAY too hard and are all jaded and bitter, rednecks who live 50 miles out in the woods who eat nothing but Spam and listen to their Slim Whitman records all day, and blue-collar, shot and a beer tough guys who are always drunk or high and looking for a fight.  I feel like one of those rare people who were born in the wrong state!  And, Pittsburgh should be renamed "Shitsburgh" because it's the absolute shits!

Famous quote:
"I'm schizophrenic, and so am I!" -- From the bumper sticker of a passing car

Shoe size: 10 1/2

Age: 27

What brought you to this site?
I happened to come across the guest book

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
My tight, firm buttocks are an alien's dream

 

Mallory "Neddy" 

Favorite cereal: Lucky Charms

Hobbies:  Basketball, swimming, talking on phone, playing computer

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Mittie.  We have to drive an hour to get to Wal-Mart.

Famous quote:
"How u doin'?"

Shoe size: 7 1/2

Age: 14

What brought you to this site?
I just wanted yo mama so fat jokes

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
Because he was bored

Joshlynn Soaku 

Favorite cereal: Cheerios

Hobbies:  Play volleyball

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Hawaii.  There are not too many places over here to shop!!!

Famous quote:
I dunno

Shoe size: 8

Age: 14

What brought you to this site?
I like the jokes and it is funny!

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
?????????????????????????????????

Chad Bryntwick 

Favorite cereal: Lucky Charms

Hobbies:  Horseback riding, football, swimming

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
I live in the Laurentiens.  Commuting to the city to work.

Famous quote:
(none)

Shoe size: 11

Age: 27

What brought you to this site?
Looking for senior or garbage bowl teams

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
'Cause I'm good

Jamie

Favorite cereal: Cocoa Puffs

Hobbies:  (none)

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
England

Famous quote:
"Spank my hairy ass!"

Shoe size: 8 1/2

Age: 15

What brought you to this site?
google.com

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
Coz I'm sexy

Alfred's Inchcock

Favorite cereal: G-spot cookies

Hobbies:  Bird watching (only female chicks please), Sexology, sex, sex and more sex, more and more sex.  Hey sorry, I've got to go... for sex.

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Atlantis.  It is under my girlfriend's (U KNOW WHERE).

Famous quote:
"Where there is a hole there is a way."

Shoe size: 13

Age: One foot in the grave

What brought you to this site?
Search for universal truths

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
Alien ....abduct me.... u got to be crazy.  I was abducted by Hillary Clinton.

Mark Casaletto

Favorite cereal:  Captain Crunch

Hobbies:  Hockey

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Toronto - too big

Famous quote:
(none)

Shoe size: 9

Age: 30

What brought you to this site?
Your last name

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
Because I have a big head

 

Bad Check

Favorite cereal: Chocolate Frosted Sugar Balls with Marshmallows

Hobbies:  Bilking the dole

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Cuba.  All these damn Floridians living here.

Famous quote:
"How come everything today involves something going in or coming out of my ass?" -- Eric Cartman

Shoe size: 15

Age: I forget

What brought you to this site?
That girl you threw out of your car while it was moving

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
Because probing my ass is like finding the holy grail

 

Kenny McCormick

Favorite cereal: Chocolate Salty Balls

Hobbies:  Hookers, drugs, watching cartoons, and dying

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Southpark, Colorado.  My teacher's a fag, my counselor is a druggie, my parents are white trash and I die every day.

Famous quote:
"Guess what pretty kitty is sleeping with mommy tonight?" -- Cartman's mom

Shoe size: 6

Age: 10

What brought you to this site?
The Angel of Death told me about it.

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
They only abduct Cartman and Scott Baio

 

Rosemary Barber-Steers

Favorite cereal: Oatmeal

Hobbies:  Finding "lost" relatives

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Michigan.  Nothing sucks about it.  Most of the perverts live elsewhere.

Famous quote:
ALL my quotes are famous

Age: 51

What brought you to this site?
A search on "Casaletto"

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
This is a stupid question

 

Dan Warlick

Favorite cereal: Breakfast cereal is one of the many fingers of the fascist arm, and I personally refuse to eat the trash

Hobbies: Annoying others for the amusement of myself and other included third parties

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Grand Rapids, Michigan

Famous quote:
From The Odyssey - a dead friend of Odysseus: "That BITCH!"

Shoe size: 12

Age: 15

What brought you to this site?
Desperation and hope for redemption

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
They usually say it's for cross-breeding experiments, but I think they want me for intergalactic porno.

 

Sarah

Favorite cereal: Hmm...I don't know

Hobbies: Listening to music, hanging out with friends, drinking Mountain Dew and mochas, chatting online, and watching the Red Wings

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
I live in Grand Rapids, MI, and everything about it sucks, hehe.  But I guess some good concerts come here once in a while.

Famous quote:
My famous quote is, "Paul looks soooo good," or "This sucks!"

Shoe size: 7 1/2

Age: 17

What brought you to this site?
My friend Jessica, who happens to be Dan the Man's girlfriend

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
Because I am cool like a bean, hehe!!!

 

Jes

Favorite cereal: Frosted Flakes get me hyper :-) heeheehee

Hobbies: Hangin' with my friends, playin' pool, playin' music, sketchin', etc, etc, etc....

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Grand Crapids MI....mostly the stupid people

Famous quote:
"I mock u with my monkey pants"

Shoe size: 10

Age: 17

What brought you to this site?
My best friend (Joe's crazy lil nephew Dan the Man) told me I had to check it out, so I did.  Very cool btw.

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
Because I am god! Oh wait, that's the microwave....

 

Orcrist

Favorite cereal: Just Right

Hobbies: Ravaging small furry animals

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
I live in Penrith.  How much time do you have?

Famous quote:
"It will be long, it will be hard, and there will be no withdrawal" - Winston Churchill on WWII

Shoe size: 9 1/2

Age: 18

What brought you to this site?
gooneygoogoo!!!!! (spoke to you on dalnet)

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
Why not?

 

Keith "Bad Check" Butler

Favorite cereal: Lucky Charms, because they're magically delicious

Hobbies: Camping, surfing, playing guitar, masturbation, smoking dope, and basket weaving

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
I live in Philadelphia and everything sucks about it

Famous quote:
"Timmy!"

Shoe size: 10

Age: 27

What brought you to this site?
The hookers

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
Because I really enjoy those anal probes

 

Sharon

Favorite cereal: Count Chocola: MMMMMMMMMM!

Hobbies: Dog, eating, sleeping, drinking beer, reading, walking, watching TV, trying not to watch too much TV, alienating people - one of my greatest talents, drinking coffee, fantasy, grooming, thinking, cleaning.

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Living in Jersey.

Famous quote:
About Disney World: "Oh no, not this place again."

Shoe size: 10

Age: 29

What brought you to this site?
Looking for a sound file of dogs barking Louie, Louie.  I can say this because I am comfortable with myself.
It's hard to be funny.  What's funny anymore?  Not even David Letterman is funny anymore.  What is funny?  I liked some of the haikus.

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
Because genetically, I'm a pretty good specimen all around, yet I'm an anonymous enough person that not too many people would really notice if I disappeared.  My parents, boyfriend, brothers and sisters would be upset for a while, but it probably wouldn't even make the papers.
When I was younger I used to have really severe nosebleeds a lot.  I was pretty convinced that aliens were coming into my bedroom at night and taking samples from my brain through access from my nose.  As I got older I rationalized this away, but there is a possibility that this did indeed happen.  I read in a book - when I was like 14, but I remember reading this - that alien experiments on humans are frequently only evidenced by morning after nosebleeds, and memories of terrible nightmares.  I used to get really bad nightmares.  I still do occasionally.

 

Cindy Butler

Favorite cereal: Cracklin' Oat Bran (when I can afford it)

Hobbies: Photography, bungee jumping, eating lots of fish and consorting with poachers

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Detroit.  What doesn't suck?  What stands out is the big Barry Sanders billboard that's been up for, like, two years since he stopped being a Lion. What's that all about?

Famous quote:
"I am sooooooo ready to go to sleep."  Most often quoted at work

Shoe size: 7 1/2

Age: 29

What brought you to this site?
A dire need to be humored and offended at the same time

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
Because I know the secret to making the world's best waffles

 

Victor Fonseca

Favorite cereal: Fruit Loops

Hobbies: Golf, sleep, TV, skateboard, basketball, computers, drums, dogs, darts, pool

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
California.  Everyone tries to act like they are from New York -- like a bunch of tough guys.

Famous quote:
"...Ah??"

Shoe size: 9

Age: 26

What brought you to this site?
Accident

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
Use me to fly the ship and eat my recycled food!!

 

Laura Casaletto Huey

Favorite cereal: Malted rye, barley and hops

Hobbies: Reading, drawing, careening about, shocking and enlightening people, seeking the divine

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
On the edge.  Is that a positive question??

Famous quote:
"Goodness is not a very impressive quality. To achieve goodness usually only requires that one be insipid or indolent."

Shoe size: 15

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
It heard green was my favorite color

 

His Holiness Pope Dan the First

Favorite cereal: Wheaties dusted with crack cocaine

Hobbies: hangin' @ coffee shops, hangin' where beautiful people are, hangin' @ the lake shore, hangin' where smart people are

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Lack of competition, snow, snow, cold, snow,... pale ugly people who infest our city like a pale unattractive plague

Famous quote:
" I had a dream and it was a wet one" -- Guy from my 5th hour class

Shoe size: 12

Age: 14

What brought you to this site?
The beasts of Satan, obviously the work of the beasts of Satan

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
Because I usually carry around a probe for MY uses, they might marvel at my mad probing skills

 

Erica D

Favorite cereal: Fruit Loops

Hobbies: Talking on the phone

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Rock Hill

Famous quote:
?

Shoe size: 6 1/2

Age: 12

What brought you to this site?
Seen it on the computer

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
I wouldn't

 

Spanky Hancock

Favorite cereal: Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs

Hobbies: Testing strange and unusual lubricants

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Bland Rapids, Mishigun
The Christian Reformed Church (Nazis)

Famous quote:
"Duh..."

Shoe size: 10 1/2

Age: I forget

What brought you to this site?
Got plastered and passed out on key board.  Woke up here.

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
I am their god

 

Caleb Hartfield

Favorite cereal: Pop-Tarts

Hobbies: Computers

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Hattiesburg, Mississippi
EVERYTHING

Famous quote:
"I don't give a damn."

Shoe size: 7 1/2

Age: 14

What brought you to this site?
My girlfriend

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
To be his bodyguard

 

Trav and Laura

Favorite cereal: KILLER!!!!!!!

Hobbies: Masturbation

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Far from Joe.  It's far, so FAR from Joe.

Famous quote:
"I know not what I do but do what I know not."

Shoe size: 10 1/2

Age: 20

What brought you to this site?
Family ties

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
I have nice probing areas.

 

Spanky Hancock

Favorite cereal: Fruity Pebbles

Hobbies: Spankin' it... often

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Grand Rapids, MI. The CRC.

Famous quote:
"Who's got the lube?"

Shoe size: 10 1/2

Age: 21

What brought you to this site?
Travis

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
To instruct on the proper procedures for an anal probe.

 

Rich

Favorite cereal: Smacks

Hobbies: Working

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
You know all too well

Famous quote:
"Is that your face, or did your neck throw up?"

Shoe size: 12

Age: I forget

What brought you to this site?
Boredom

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
Well, because I am a most unusual specimen

 

Pennsylvanians Must Die

Favorite cereal: Shit

Hobbies: Drinking, smoking, sex, movies, automobiles

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Pennsylvania.  Rednecks, inbred hicks, the people totally suck ass, there is nothing to do, and when there is something to do, it usually is lame and it smokes a big fat cock.

Famous quote:
"Bitch, shut the fuck up and suck mah dick"

Shoe size: 15

Age: 19

What brought you to this site?
Web search

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
So his buddies can steal my Pinto

 

Lorne William Neff

Favorite cereal: Chocolate Pebbles, Peanut Butter Crunch, Golden Frosted Wheaties, Raisin Squares, Apple Cinnamon O's

Hobbies: Fantasy sports on the internet

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Killeen, Texas - All cities built around military bases suck. The hookers are all at Ft. Bragg.

Famous quote:
(none)

Shoe size: 9 1/2

Age: 29

What brought you to this site?
The server

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
Because I got his daughter pregnant

 

K.C.

Favorite cereal: Kaboom

Hobbies: Perhaps you can deduce that from the answer above

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
The great Midwest.  Too many Dutch people who make comments about the Mafia -- I'm pretty sure they're just jealous THEY don't have a colorful heritage.

Famous quote:
"I (not they) will set the agenda."

Shoe size: 6

Age: 34

What brought you to this site?
The gripping movie reviews and the fact that one of my friends told me I look like the photo that goes with the "Yo Mama" section

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
Because I'm absolutely not available at retail outlets

 

Cadie Taylor

Favorite cereal: Oreo "O's"

Hobbies: Singing and dancing

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Reno.  Everything from our sucky football team to having no fine guys

Famous quote:
"Eat shit and die"

Shoe size: 7 1/2

Age: 16

What brought you to this site?
Someone e-mailed me and told me that the jokes were hella funny! and they are!!

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
Cuz he wanted to explore my inner parts  LOL

 

Jenny

Favorite cereal: I'm an egg person, actually

Hobbies: Seeking out cool joke sites on the internet

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
In an apartment. It's an apartment.

Famous quote:
"Life's way too short not to go for what you really want"

Shoe size: 7 1/2

Age: 10

What brought you to this site?
Joe Casaletto

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
To examine a human life form with only 3 fully functioning brain cells

 

Leonardo Abercrombie

Favorite cereal: Cocoa Puffs

Hobbies: Hiking, climbing, skiing, gardening, fornicating, barbequing, camping, fishing, computing

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
I live in the Seattle Washington Area AKA Puget Sound region.  What sucks is all the people that move here are from places like California.

Famous quote:
"Do unto others before they do unto you"

Shoe size: 9

Age: 43

What brought you to this site?
I was looking for no arms, no legs jokes

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
So I could guide them on a tour of really cool places to see on Earth

 

Marlys

Favorite cereal: Almond Cranberry Flakes

Hobbies: scrapbooking, beanie babies, computer

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Canada.  It is a great country

Famous quote:
"Happiness is a choice"

Shoe size: 9

Age: 60

What brought you to this site?
Your banner was on my home page

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
The wheelchair is too bulky

 

Erin

Favorite cereal: Raisin Bran

Hobbies: Collecting Elvis things

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Pennsylvania, it sucks because there is nothing to do

Famous quote:
"If you're not wasted, the day is!"

Shoe size: 9 1/2

Age: 17

What brought you to this site?
A web search

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
Because I'm amazon tall

 

Angela Howard

Favorite cereal: Lucky Charms

Hobbies: Badminton and chat lines

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
I live in Canada, and what sucks is that there is no action!

Famous quote:
???

Shoe size: 8 1/2

Age: 17

What brought you to this site?
Heard a lot about it

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
Because I am full of life

 

Cadie

Favorite cereal: The new Oreo one

Hobbies: Singing

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Reno, Nevada. The state song and everyone who lives here

Famous quote:
"Don't make fun of my profession" (hint hint)

Shoe size: 9 1/2

Age: 13

What brought you to this site?
I'm always looking for hella funny jokes

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
Because I'm candy coated on the outside and warm and gooey on the inside like an M&M

 

David Guitano

Favorite cereal: Honey Bunches of Oats

Hobbies: Football, basketball, softball, and my kids

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Charlotte, NC   The night life sucks.  We need more dance clubs! The Panthers suck, but it doesn't matter because I'm a Steelers fan.

Famous quote:
"Why do we drive on parkways and park in driveways?"

Shoe size: 9

Age: 35

What brought you to this site?
Played in your fantasy football league

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
My superior intelligence and good looks

 

Jesse

Favorite cereal: Corn Pops; anything not healthy for you

Hobbies: Sleeping and eating

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Virginia!! Everything!

Famous quote:
"Alcohol: the cause and solution to all life's problems"

Shoe size: 10

Age: 22

What brought you to this site?
You beat me at Fantasy Football on Sandbox!!

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
They wouldn't

 

Drew

Favorite cereal: I ask myself that every time I am at the supermarket too!

Hobbies: I have been advised by my counsel not to answer based on damaging content of that information to myself and/or third parties

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Believe me, you don't want to know. You REALLY don't want to know.

Famous quote:
You know the one about a man and his shoe size [it's not true] and "Ninety percent of politicians give the other ten percent a bad name" -- H. Kissinger

Shoe size: 13

Age: 19

What brought you to this site?
uh... the hooker was making me nervous

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
Next time I speak with an alien, I'll ask him/her/it and get back to you on it

 

DAN!

Favorite cereal: Double Frosted Hyper Sugar Flakes

Hobbies: If I told you I'd have ta kill u

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
I don't know; its warm winters, cool summers, and beaches of beautiful girls

Famous quote:
"Dooooooo" -- Homer

Shoe size: 10 1/2

Age: 13

What brought you to this site?
A force greater than any known to man

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
Why not

 

Jimmy JJ Walker

Favorite cereal: Lucky Charms

Hobbies: Hunting, working on cars, four-wheeling

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Glenwood, Iowa.  It's a freaking hick town in the middle of nowhere.

Famous quote:
"To be or not to be, that is the question." (yea right)

Shoe size: 10

Age: 16

What brought you to this site?
I was just looking around

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
Cause I'm awesome

 

Kathy Casaletto

Favorite cereal: Tony the Tiger Corn Flakes

Hobbies: Staying alive and happy

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
On the edge. Nothing sucks in my life.

Famous quote:
"What? Me worry?"

Shoe size: 10

Age: 64

What brought you to this site?
Desperation

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
He wouldn't

 

Sarah

Favorite cereal: Oreos (the cereal, not cookies), Peanut Butter Captain Crunch, Raisin Granola stuff, Rice Chex, HoneyComb

Hobbies: I'm blond...(~: If you want to know, go look at my home page.

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Waxhaw. It takes far too long to get anywhere, but other than that, I love it!

Famous quote:
"Tell us we will die like dogs..."
"You will die like dogs."
"Nooo, we will not die like dogs, we will fight like lions! For we are... the three amigos!"

Shoe size: 8 1/2

Age: 24

What brought you to this site?
The Perigee guest book

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
They would think I was a goddess and want me to rule their world for the rest of my life, with all that I ask for at my feet.

 

Wayne Ewing

Favorite cereal: Count Chocula or Wheatabix with bananas

Hobbies: Football, hockey, fishing, drinking, betting on sports

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
I live in Ottawa Ontario Canada. It sucks 'cause it's cold & damp. All the girls here (that have large breasts) are stuck up. None of them have accepted my invitation for a free goatee ride.

Famous quote: "I'm There!!!!"

Shoe size: 9

Age: 27

What brought you to this site?
A mysterious e-mail like a voice from GOD

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
Because of my beautiful forked goatee. I could also show them the most ummmm... friendly women in all of Canada...

 

Pepito

Favorite cereal: Great Nuts

Hobbies: reading, cannibalism

Where do you live? What sucks about it?
Oregon --Too much rain, not enough women with BIG HAIR

Famous quote: "Be as radical as reality"--Lenin

Shoe size: 9 1/2

What brought you to this site?
My brother sent me the URL (for the jokes)

Why would an alien want to abduct you?
Either my sensitive nature or my soft, chewy caramel center, although few humans (much less aliens) would know about that.

 


 

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